On this page, students from XJTLU, China will put on their English assignments. Students from Machester University, UK will make comments on them. The deadline for students in XJTLU to submit their essays will be 5 Nov 2010 (Friday). If it's not a attached text, it would be better to correct mistakes directly on the original text and the correction can be seen by clicking 'History' button. When you open the the relevant file, two types of colour will show either 'deleted' or 'inserted' text so that people can see the corrections. This is the special feature of Wikis.


jack, very impressed with the quality of your english. i attach the corrected version
, MAY
....unsure how to attach so i will just paste it here:

Nurture strongly influences early human development. Discuss
At the end of the nineteenth century, William James (1890) claimed that the way a newborn child to experiences the world is “buzzing, blooming confusion”. This theory which was prevalent before 1960s. We now know that newborns inflate enter the world with all sensory systems functioning and are well prepared to learn about their new environment. That said, psychologists still consider the question of that what influences human’s early development most; Nurture or nature. The aims of this essay is to present both sides and subsequently make a conclusion.
As Locke in the 17th century pointed out in the 17th century, the mind of a newborn infant is a blank slate (tabula rasa). What he or she sees, hears, tastes, smells and feels are theirs way to is how one gains knowledge. No knowledge or ideas are built in. John B. Watson and B.F. (1930, p.104) Skinner both agree with Locke’s statement. They also points out, nature has a small influence on early human development on comparison with whereas nurture does not. John B. Watson and B.F. Skinner believe that early training can turn a child into any kind of adult. Kagan (1979) get reaches the same conclusion by doing experiments. Research carried out by him His research shows that the environment influentces the speed of children’s a child’s speech learning. In an article by Zelazo, Zelazo & Kolb (1972), they find that a group of infants who were given stepping practice began walking five to seven weeks earlier than babies who had not had this practice.
There are also some several different voices on the topic of nature or and nurture which influence more on human’s early development. The advent of Charles Darwin (1859) emphasizes the biological basis of human development. He expressed the view that nature has a stronger influence on human development. In today’s world, people know the fact that a human’s life is determined by the genetic structure of the fertilized ovum. Genes decide many points factors such as people’s sex, the colour of skin, eyes, hair and general body size.
Many famous psychologists had given their opinions as mentioned above have carried out in-depth studies of nature and nurture and their relationship, and have reached concise conclusions directly from their research. They gained their conclusion from research. Their conclusion is very concise and direct. However, it is obvious that Locke’s statement is more powerful. Just as he said:no knowledge or ideas are built in.(John Locke 17th century)


Account: 368


Reference List:
Atkinson, R.L., et al. (1999) Hilgard’s Introduction to Psychology. In: Slaught, J., Harben, P. and Pallant, A. eds. Reading and Writing Source Book. UK: Garnet Publishing Ltd., 12-15





Dear Luke:
I am sorry to upload it late. Could you plaese comment it for me? Thank you very much.
jeff

Hi Jeff, no problem; here's the corrected version. Let me know if you have any questions; your essay was really good!

Best wishes,
Luke


Dear Luke:
I really appreciate your professional comments. They they were exactly the common mistakes I often made. Anyway, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Regards
Jeff
By the way, maybe I didn't find your JOB APPLICATION. Have you uploaded it,or,did I failed to find it?



Maggie
Researchers have been arguing for many centuries about whether nature or nurture has the stronger influence on early human development. Nurture refers to the general social environment while nature means innate talent and genetics. This essay will outline the degree which nurture influences early human development and also how nature affects it.
Nature has a strong influence on early human development. The theory of Charles Darwin (1859) emphasizes the importance of heredity (Text 2-1, lines 17-19). It is widely accepted that the genes are some parts of DNA, which program all cells in human’s body. Genes control the procedure of fetus’ growth simultaneously. Accordingly, some of fetus’ performances are arranged by a predetermined sequence (Text 2-1, lines 62-66). What kind of fetus a fertilized ovum will develop into is determined by those genetic structures. So everyone has their own characteristic, such as different colors of hair, skin, and eyes. Moreover, diversities in body size and character between people are also the consequence of gene expression 53-57). A point often overlooked is that verbal communication of the newborn baby is heritably determined as well. From this fact, there don’t exist baby who can speak completed structure of a sentence(Text 2-1, lines 108-115).
It is widely believed that nurture has a great impact on early human development. As John Locke points out, all knowledge provided by experience understand us by senses (Text 2-1, lines 10-15). When newborn infants see, hear, taste, smell and feel, some part of their minds gain perception and remember the information (Text 2-1, lines 10-15). In a paper by John B. Watson (1930, p.104), infants can be brought up by special methods to become any idea type of person without being affected by their vocations 28-35). Research carried out by Zelazo and Zelazo and Kolb (1972) shows that if infants were trained to step early, they will walk without holding previously to babies which have not had this kind of practice (Text 2-1, lines 102-106). Furthermore, this belief appears to be supported by Kagan (1979), who claims that children talk earlier who are brought up in the language environment in which they are encouraged to speak (Text 2-1, lines 119-125). Obviously, human nature is completely malleable, and nurture strongly influences early human development. On the other hand, fetus’ development depends on the environment of uterus as well. Any unusual change of uterus can lead to fetal growth being suspended. For instance if a pregnant woman is infected with German measles during the months in which some of its essential organs are taking shape, serious consequence maybe that the baby has physical disabilities such as deafness or loss of sight. In addition, the regular maturation of the fetus would be interrupted by the mother’s consumption of alcohol, cigarette and drugs likewise (Text 2-1, lines 69-80).
To sum up, nature and nurture strongly influence early ­­­­­­human development. Some specialties of people are determined by genes and nature, everyone has a different level of intelligence quotient and comprehensive ability, whereas, acquired disposition can change many during babies’ development subsequently.

Hi Maggie, well done on writing such a good essay. I've attached the corrected version here. Feel free to let me know if you have questions!

Best wishes,
Luke












Nurture strongly influence early human development

In order to develop, people think highly of education. Not only (不要the) children in school, but also from early human development, especially the newborns. It has been proved that newborn infants enter the world with all sensory systems functioning and therefore are well prepared to learn about their new environment. For this reason, it is important for people to control environmental influences. Thus, this essay will describe the comparison between nurture and nature, to balance its ability in human development.

According to the theory of Charles Darwin, the source of human resource reminded (不太明白句子的意思,时不时应该用remained not reminded?) the result of each person’s heredity. Newborns may obtain the generation (是不是应该用genetics?在这generation 的意思不太合适) which is passed down from their parents even their grandparents.” For example, if the mother contracts German measles during the first three months of pregnacy (when the fetus’s basic organ systems are developing according to the genetically programmed schedule), the infant may be born deaf, blind or brain-damaged, depending on which organ system was in a critical stage of development at the time of infection.(Text book 2-1 lines 69-77). Due to this fact, nature influence plays an important part in early human development and people should think highly of it and to their best ability attempt to control it.

On the other hand, nurture also brings much influence to early human development. The famous behaviourists John B. Watson and B.F Skinner argued that human nature is completely malleable. A child can grow up to become any kind of adult by early training, regardless of his or her heredity(Text 2-1 lines 24-27). Newborn infants can do many things even when they have just entered the world. When they are put up, they can sway their legs in the a way which resembles walking. In addition, when they are put into a basin which has some water, they will swim like a adult. Despite this, when they grow up, they also have to learn how to walk or swim. This is because, after they entered the world, they have to spend a long duration of time in bed and in this case they will gradually forget how to do these things. Watson stated that if were to be given, train and develop a dozen healthy infants, he could guarantee that any one of those infants chosen at random could be trained by him to become any type of specialist such as doctor, lawyer, artist, merchant-chief, and yes, beggar-man abd thief(Text 2-1 lines 27-34). This illustrates the way in which, the environment has the ability to lead them to forget and that nurture can strongly influence their ability.
At present, the view that not only both nature and nurture play important roles but that they interact continuously to guide development has been agreed by most psychologists. The abilities, such as sociability and emotional stability are influenced equally by heredity and environment. In other words, nature and nurture are both equal in early human development.

Waiting for Emily's comments.
Thomas
Thomas, 真对不起,我以为你是你的同学,tom,所以我前几天已经帮他改了他的作业!我搞错了,真抱歉!hopefully u would have seen my comments on time. let me know how it goes!by the way i am very very impressed by the standard of your english, the corrections i have made are mainly just to make it sound firstly a little more fluent, and secondly more academic.emily


jonas nature & nurture.doc
Hi Jonas,
Your essay is really good, I've just made a few changes to improve the fluency. I've highlighted my corrections in red.
Jenny.
Some scientists think that people behave as they do according to genetic predispositions or even “animal instincts”. This is known as the “nature” theory of human behavior. Other scientists believe that people think and behave in certain ways because they are taught to do so. This is known as the “nurture” theory of human behavior. This essay will examine the degree to which both nature and nurture influence early human development.

Scientists have known for years that so many personal characteristics are controlled by the genetic structure of the fertilized ovum. Genes decide our body such as sex, the color of our skin, eyes, and hair and general body size. In the process of a baby becoming an adult, genes will decide the direction of his or her development. Moreover, parents give an infant their body, face and gender. These can not be changed by the child. It is these genetic differences that make each person look unique.

Nurture also plays an important role. As Locke (17 century) pointed out, a newborn infant is just like a “blank slate”, which they can write their experiences on. Besides, John B Watson and B.F. Skinner argued that human nature is altogether changeable: a child can be trained to be any kind of adult, no matter what qualities he or she had early in life. If children live in an environment in which people talk around them in one language, they will learn this language earlier than children who are not surrounded by this kind of language. Kagan (1979) has drawn attention to the fact that children living in middle-class American homes start to speak at the age of one. Children reared in San Marcos, a distant village in Guatemala, can hardly communicate with adults and can speak few words before they are two years old.
Jenny,

Thank you for your help.
If you have some problem about chinese study, you can tell me then I will help you ~

Good luck
Jonas





Hi Cilian,
Sorry for the delay of correcting your assignment!!! I was asked by my tutor to edit an extra assignment, and I saw how yours was still uncorrected by anyone. Anyway, please have a look at my corrections. You did a wonderful job of writing, I was extremely impressed by your standard of English. You should be very proud! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.
Best, Andrea
ALSO! I forgot to mention: the words in red [xxx] mean you should delete them, while the words in blue [xxx] mean you should add them. Hopefully I make sense... again, I do apologize for the delay and my rushed edits of your paper for I know you will be turning this in tomorrow! Good luck!


Una


Hi, is your name Una?
I have marked your essay and the link is above. I hope you understand my corrections. If you don't know why I have changed something please ask me and I will explain! My msn is jessyanzio@hotmail.com. ^^
Jess





Katrina your essay is very impressive. I can't seem to attach a file so will paste it here. if you would like me to e mail the word file that shows all the changes i have made then e mail me: freddiewaters@googlemail.com

Here you go - i enjoyed reading it xxx

Freddie

Nurture strongly influences early human development
Jun.Meng

For a long time people have debated whether nature or nurture is more important in early human development. Nurture can influence human development, through teaching for example. Yet people’s genes can decide their sex, the color of hair and eyes, and the size of their body, which are all nature. They both have a huge influence on development. This essay will discuss the effects of nature and nurture on early human development.
It is believed by supporters of nature heredity that the age at which a child will begin to talk has already been decided when they are born, and of course to some degree this is true. However, some evidence can prove that nurture has a strong influence on this. For example, research shows that infants who were given stepping practice started talking five to seven weeks earlier than those who were not (Zelazo, Zelazo & Kolb, 1972 cited in Atkinson.R.L.et.al 1999). Thus, nurture can indeed influence human development to a large degree.
The next point is that supporters of nature believe that when a child starts to walk does once again depend on their genes. On the contrary we see some examples illustrate that with stimulation this can be brought forward. Scientist have performed research which proves that children who are rewarded for making speech-like sounds start talking earlier (Kagan, 1979 cited in Atkinson.R.L.et.al 1999). From this people can understand nurture influences human development.
The last point talks about the fetus development. It is commonly accepted that genes determine a child’s characteristics. However, many factors can prove that various outside effects can change ones characteristics. For instance, if a mother contracts an illness or has been smoking frequently, her baby may be deaf, blind or brain-damaged (Atkinson.R.L.et.al 1999). This is more strong evidence to prove the importance of nurture.
To summarise, nurture is more important on human development. Those who were bright when they are young can often not succeed, while people who are not brilliant at first may do because they work harder. Nurture is an amazing thing that can change everything if necessary. Not only human development but also art, culture and so on. In conclusion, it is significant for people to use nurture to improve their life.
Bibliography
Atkinson,R.L., Atkinson.R.C., Smith, E.E., Bem, D.J.&Nolen-Hoeksema, S.(1999)
Hilgard’s Introduction to Psychology, (13th ed). Fort Worth: Harcourt Brace College Publishers.
Work count: 376

Hi Freddie
Thank you so much for your comments, I have learned a lot from it, if you have any problem on chinese, you can send me an e-mail:Jun.Meng10@student.xjtlu.edu.cn.
Regards,
Katrina




Hello Jasmine

It was a pleasure to read your nature vs nurture essay. On the whole the essay was very well written with a clear line of thought throughout. There were only a few mistakes which I have highlighted in red, I hope the corrections will be useful please do not hesitate to raise any further questions with me,

Best

Nik

Nurture strongly influences early human development. Discuss
There has been an argument for many centuries about whether nature or nurture has more of an impact in influencing early human development. Most experts today agree that babies mainly develop as a result of nurture. For example, the seventeenth-century British philosopher John Locke claimed that infants will be affected by various feelings. It is widely believed that nature means heredity while nurture represents the environment we grow up in. This essay will discuss the degree to which nurture and nature influence early human development (deleted both sides).

Use of essential should be changed essential has a connotation of necessity whereas I think you are arguing whether nature or nurture has a greater influence on human development.

Firstly personal characteristics can be influenced by environmental events, for example, if the mother often smokes or suffers from German measles, the infant could be blind, brain-damaged or even dead. On the other hand, young babies are likely to be trained. As Watson stated, babies can be trained as doctors or artists regardless of the talents the newborns (1930, p.104). Another example is that babies usually learn to speak between the ages of two and three years old. However, children reared in an environment where people often talk to them will speak earlier than children who are not provided with such an situation (Kagan, 1979). Thus, these reasons aid the argument that nurture strongly influences early human development.
the use of "he can guarantee" an "given such situation" are slightly informal for a scientific essay so has has been changed to babies can be trained and provided with such a situation.

Nature also plays a vital role in early human development. Before birth, genes decide a babies’ sex, the colour of eyes and skin, to name but a few genetic factors. The theory of evolution (1895) by Charles Darwin’s indicated that the biological basis of human development is essential. Newborns have a series of capacities which help them to adapt to the new environment. However, the capacities of young babies may not be fully developed, such as the visual system (Franz, 1961). Despite the poor vision, newborns still make observations of the world around them. Therefore nature also has an effect on early human development.

The use of "genes have already" and "babies are trying" is the wrong time tense for this type of writing a clear objective time frame must be given so change to before birth etc.

Nowadays, an increasing number of psychologists agree that nature and nurture interact with each other. Young babies generally display similar motor development such as rolling over, crawling and walking. The difference is the rate that babies develop these skills. If infants are given stepping practice several times throughout their early years, they will be probably better than babies who do not have the practice (Zelazo, Zelazo & Kolb 1972). Furthermore, the development of babies’ personality traits including sociability and emotional stability demonstrates that it is not only influenced by heredity but also surroundings.
Adding throughout their early years helps the flow of the essay and defines a time frame

It is difficult to judge whether nature or nurture is the strongest in influencing early human development. Nature is determined by genes while nurture may accelerate the development of babies. In my opinion, both nature and nurture play important roles in early human development.
Joining your two last sentences in displaying one wholly formed argument and idea

Hi Nik,

Thanks very much for your comment. I have learned a lot. It is nice to be a partner with you. I hope that we can cooperate with each other next time.

Regards,
Jasmine



Hi Harry,

I have corrected your essay. The main mistakes were either spelling or confusing the wording of set phrases, whilst in other places I have changed the wording to make the sentence(s) sound better. Other than these, your written English appears to be pretty good! Here is the corrected version of your essay. However, in the final line I do not quite understand what you wanted to say exactly... Hope this helps though!

Regards,

Young


Hi ,
Thank you for using time to correct my essay. Your suggestions are very useful.I believe I will do better soon with your help.

Wishes

Harry



Hi Leo, I have checked your essay and it is very good. I have made some small changes, they mostly are grammatical errors, but on the whole you have not made many mistakes at all. I have tried to upload my corrected version to wiki, but it does not seem to be working. Do you have an email address I can send it to?
Regards
Kristian

Thank you for your help, Kristian, i have saw the version which is you give. and my email address is hnjydtw@gmail.com . and if you want ,we can send email each other to improve your Chinese and my English.



Hi Leo,

Sorry Kristian, didn't realise you'd also corrected the essay. I didn't upload it immediately after. Although here is my corrected version anyway.

Rgeards,
Young

Hi Young,
I'm happy to see you have given comments on my comment. thank you for whatever you done on my english study. and as what i say to Kristian, if you are interested in ,we can improve our language by sending email each other. thanks again.
yours,
Leo.




Hi Echo,

I was very impressed with your writing, I have marked all the changes I have made on the essay. Most of the revisions were only to make the essay sound more fluent. Some bits like "Nature creates basic genetic attributes, and nurture polishes them." were very good.
I hope this goes well and hopefully you can leave comments on my work next time.

Cheers,

Fran

Hi Fran,

I am grateful that you can revise my essay so carefully. It is so useful to me. However, I am not understand the mean of the lines beside the body.
It is wonderful to be a partner with you and hopefully we can work togrther next time.

Sincerely,
Echo

Dear Echo,

I'm very sorry I was not able to make the corrections more clear for you. Next time can you save your file as .doc as on my computer at home I cannot open .docx files.
I now have a covering letter uploaded on the 'jobs, internships' page and would be very grateful if you could have a look at it.

Thanks a lot,

Frances



Oops, sorry. I didn't see it was corrected below. It is a very interesting essay, great work Bob! You made some minimal mistakes in terms of verbs and punctuation but overall it is a very strong pece of work. Keep it up!

Dan







1.
Both nature and nurture strongly influences early human development
Whether nature or nurture is more important in determining the process of human development is a question which has been debated through the centuries. Nature can determine the innate characteristics of human however nurture can influence people equally. This essay will critically discuss the effects of nature and nurture to early human development respectively.
On the one hand, there are many people think that nature has the biggest influence on human development. The appearance of Charles Darwin's theory of evolution (1859) gave special importance to the biological basis of human development (Text 2-1, lines 17-19). It seems to be known for everyone that human genes program their growing cells therefore they develop into a person rather than a fish or chimpanzee. They settle people's sex, the colour of skin, eyes, and hair and general body size, among other things (Text 2-1,lines 53-57). In consequence of these genetic determinants, people can walk, talk, and do more things that other animals cannot do. Hence, nature is more important for early human development.
On the other hand, a great number of people believe that nurture strongly affects early human development. For example, John Locke, the seventeenth-century British philosopher, believed that the mind of a newborn infant is a piece of paper. What gets written on this paper is based on what the baby experiences - what he or she sees, hears, tastes, smells and feels (Text 2-1, lines 10-14). Although the overwhelming majority of babies have the functions to see, hear, taste, smell and feel, if their parents do not teach them to distinguish ,the functions will have no use. “ Behaviourists such as John B. Watson and B.F. Skinner claimed that human nature is completely pliable. It is like that early training can easily change a child into any types of adults, regardless of his or her heredity (Text 2-1, lines 23-27). In fact, the influences of environment do not just appear after the babies being born. The baby is affected by the environment when it is a fertilized ovum. For example, “ if the mother contracts German measles during the first three months of pregnancy, the infant may be born deaf, blind or brain-damaged, depending on which organ system was in a critical stage of development at the time of infection ” (Text 2-1,lines 69-77).
According to the discussion above, it is obviously that not only nature but also nurture are both play important roles to guide early human development. Different people have different opinions. In contrast, there are more people believe that nurture affects human development more.
Mei Pengke (Ed ward)



thomas, i was very surprised to see that you had been asked to write about such a hard topic! Nevertheless, your english is very good, and with some help and practice i think it will be perfect! I have done some improvements to your text, they have been highlighted in red. If you don't understand anything, feel free to ask. But all in all, very well done!Sorry i only replied today, didn't realise you guys had to hand it in so soon.Lastly, i have uploaded a cover letter for a job, named 朱嘉希emily chu, if you would be so kind to have a quick look at it before next weds i will be very grateful.OK, any questions let me knowEmilyEmily,I am Tom, not Thomas. He is my best friend. I thank you so much for helping me, though Thomas also need comments, and maybe you should do it again.I have talked with Thomas about this thing. We made an agreement that to help you together about you cover letter. By the way, without your comments, it can't be an essay. Thank you.Tom.Nurture strongly influences early human development
Nurture and nature are both equal for human beings. Through the human history, the notions of nurture or nature, which is most influenced for early human, have been drought up many times. At the moment, it has been proved that they interacted continuously to guide human development. Both of nurture and nature are necessary. The paper will show the impacts between nurture and nature. Furthermore, nurture will be introduced at first and nature will be at second.
Nurture is significantly important for human development. With every sensory system not developed well, newborn infants enter the world. However with all systems equipped, infants are well prepared to learn the new world. Thus nurture can impact every process of human development, even the process of ovum maturation. When the ovum at the process of maturation, influences from maternal malnutrition, smoking, and consumption of alcohol and drugs can decide how the ovum to developing (Text 2.1, lines 77-80). Meanwhile, human also can be influenced after they are born. Infants can develop to de different characters in different situation, and when they are older, they can choose what they want to be, even though change innate appearance, such as hair color, height and weight. Human also learn personal habits from their parents. Hence, parents should pay attention to their infants’ education.

Equally, nature also plays a vital role for maturation. Human is born with eyes, nose, mouth, and anything which makes human’s lives independently in the world, in addition, with kind and friendly characters. Human fertilized ovum develops into a person rather than an animal because of human genes program. “They decide our sex, the color of our skin, eyes, and hair and general body size, among other things”(Text 2.1, lines 55-57).Moreover, nature also bring infants capacity to learn the world. The newborns can distinguish the difference of significantly similar sounds, complicated sights, and abnormal smell. For example, infants can tell extremely similar sounds when they are a very young age(Text 2.3, lines 26-28). It is obvious that nature influences the early human development.

In conclusion, both nurture and nature have strongly influences on maturation. Moreover they help the fertilized ovum develop to be an infant, and finally develop to an adult. There are many human characters like sociability and emotion stability. Simultaneously, different people have different abilities. They are all ed equally by heredity and environment. Human develops both nurture and nature equally, in the other word, human can not become a man without them. Words count: 421

Tom



Nurture strongly Influences Early Human Development

Newborn infants get used to this brand-new environment rather quickly. There has been a heated debate since the nineteenth century on whether all round sensory systems helping (nature) or surroundings stimulating (nurture) make this possible. This article argues three aspects of this debate on whether nature or nurture has more powerful effects on early human development.

Early geneticists seem to support the view that the gene program is the decisive factor which guides early fetus to form into a person instead of a dog or a mouse (Text 2-1, lines 51-55). Moreover, they believe genetic structure of the fertilized ovum determines personal characteristics. This means that babies enter the world well-prepared, while innate personalities appear gradually during their growth (Text 2-1, lines 7-10). In contrast, modern scientists point out that a tough growing environment would disturb primary fetal development. One of the instances An example would be a mother’s infection of German measles, which may lead to the baby’s deformity, deafness or even worse, death (Text 2-1, lines 67-69).

Meanwhile, early hereditarians tend to have the belief that motor development fully relays relies?? on the inherited biological timetables, as babies learn motor behaviours in the similar order (Text 2-1, lines 84). However, opponents suppose that it is outer stimulation which really makes the difference. That is, special practice can accelerate the steps of motor behaviours’ appearance. For example if an infant is given regular stepping-like movements practice, it is (more likely??) at a higher rate that he\she will know how to walk earlier than others (Text 2-1, lines 94-102).

Speech development is another strong proof for early hereditarians. According to their opinion, all infants begin to speak after reaching a certain stage of mental development. Therefore, no sentences can be spoken by any infant under the age of one year (Text 2-1, lines 111-115). Nevertheless, contemporary scientists reject the notion which the hereditarians hold about speech development being solely based only on nature. They believe that reward and attention can inspire infants to speak earlier. That is why children born in remote villages who get receive less interaction from their parents usually start to talk later than those who live in middle-class families (Text 2-1, lines 119-125).

In a summary, nurture greatly affects human development during the early period in of the body forming, motor development and speech development. Given a better conditions, reward practice and more attention, babies might grow more healthily at the an early age.

Gloria

Hi Gloria,

I've made some corrections for you but generally your English is great. Anything in red are words I've added. If you have any questions just let me know!
Alice

hi Alice,
Thank you for your work which helps a lot. For example, I usually forget to "this" "the" etc. to refer to the thing above or following.
I am happy to find my shortcomings and have the opportunity to make up them. ><
I am sure we will cooperate well, reaching a higher level in our language learning.
Gloria


Nature and nurture strongly influence early human development

The question of whether nature or nurture has more influences on human development has been discussed through the centuries. Nature is hereditary which is decided by gene. Nurture is the environment and affairs that influences the behavior of people. This essay will present the degree to which nature and nurture influences early human development.
Genetic determinants such as the color of skin, eyes, and hair are expressed through the growth of human, which embodies the impact of innateness. Children experience the same process of growth which is known as the motor behavior. When infants roll over, sit without support, stand while holding on to furniture, crawl and walk, they are doing something unconsciously. There is even a belief that gene has some uncertain influences on character and intelligence. Infants are born with thorough sensory systems functioning which make it possible for them to adapt to the new environment qui. The capacities of the newborn provided powerful example of the influences which nature has on early human development.
However, people who are supporting the idea that nurture has more influences on children argue that even process deemed to be determined by innate biological timetable can be influenced by specific factor. Compared to infants who have not had any stepping practice, babies who have accepted walking practice for a couple of minutes several times a day during the physiological time of learning to walk are able to walk five to seven weeks earlier. An experiment by Zelazo and Zelazo & Kolb indicated that practice or extra encouragement can bring the appearance of motor behavior in advance1972. According to John Locke, a British philosophy in the seventeenth-century, a newborn infant is a ‘blank slate’. What gets written on it is what the baby experiences. That stresses the importance of the environment. John B.Watson and B.F Skinner considered that human nature is completely malleable. They think that early training can turn children into any kind of adult, regardless of his or her heredity.
Nature and nurture are two necessary determinants which influences human development from two aspects. The development of speech provides an example of the interaction between generically determined characteristics and experience. It is decided by gene that newborn infants can discriminate the differences between very similar sounds and can imitate what they hear while the language they learn to speak is determined by what their parents speak. In conclusion, both nature and nurture have strong influences on human development.

Wendy
Dear Wendy,

I have made a few corrections and suggestions to improve your essay, hope you will find it useful.

Best wishes,
Emily


Dylan's essay here



Dear Dylan,

Please find attached below your Nature and Nurture essay, I have written the corrected version underneath your version. I have highlighted the bits I have changed. Your English is really great and I hardly had to change anything! So well done! I just changed a few bits to improve the fluency, and the flow of the essay, and to make it sound a bit more like a native speaker. If you have any questions about the changes I made, please ask!

Kind regards,

Katherine Harrison


Katherine, thank you for your correction and your compliments, and i will do it better next time.

“Nurture strongly influences early human development”. Discuss

Since the seventeenth-century, whether nature or nurture plays the most important role in early human development has triggered a heated debate. According to some data and experiments made by the scientists from many different fields, this essay will discuss these both points of view.

Supporters of the nature hypothesis believe that the personal characteristics are already determined by the genetic structure. Charles Darwin, who came up the theory of evolution, is the one of the supporters. He proves that person’s sex, the color of the skin, eye, hair, ethnicity all determined by the genetic structure of the fertilized ovum (Text2.1, lines 50-61).In addition, genes program the cells in origin so that people can distinguish the voice, taste, smell by himself. All sums up to show that nature play a significantly powerful role in the early human development.

On the other hand, there also have the other voice in academia. Those who support nurture argue that the genetics alone do not shape a child, and it can merely affect the appearance, In addition, early human development is mostly depended on the environment. In the 17th century, John Locke came up with the new notion in his century that a newborn infant is a ‘blank slate’, and an infant gets information and knowledge supplely by its own experience (Text2.1, lines5-14). Moreover, John B.Watson , B.F skinner and some other behaviorists gave a new explanation to this theory hundred years later” early training can turn a child into any kind of adult, regardless of his or her heredity”(Text2.1,lines25-30). More recent studies indicate that extra practice and stimulation can help the infants improve their motor development. There are two direct trials including some information that further describes the theory; First, a group of newborn who were given stepping practice for a few minutes began to walk five to seven weeks earlier than babies who had not had the practice (Zelazo, Zelazo&Kolb, 1972); Second, the children reared in USA homes begin to speak about one year earlier than the children reared in San Marcos, where the children often have little verbal interaction with adults.

To conclude, both nature and nurture have great impact on infants’ growth and it is difficult to compare which influences early human development most. Heredity influences what his or her are while environment decides what his or her behavior. They work together constantly to guide an infant grow to maturity.

Succi

HI~ Andrea,
This is my assignment and I would really appreciate if you could give my any suggestion :)
Thank for your kindness.
Best wishesHi Succi! It's great to hear from you again. I have read your essay, and I must say I am impressed with your level of writing! You should be very proud of yourself! :) However, there are still a few things that could be corrected to make this essay even better. I will go through these corrections step by step. Which can be seen in this document:
When you look at the document, you'll see your original essay. Below the copy of your original essay are my notes on what should be changed. I hope all of this is clear to you. I know it's long, but if you have any questions or still don't understand why I have changed/deleted certain parts of your essay, please do not hesitate to contact me on wiki!! I will be happy to answer your questions and to help you any time. And I hope you do well on your essay!

Andrea


Nature or nurture strongly influences early human development?
There has bee n a debate about whether nature or nurture is more important through the centuries.(nature means something concerned with inherited factors and nurture means something related to environment.) After several experiments, it has been solved by modern scientists. They conclude: not only that both nature and nurture play important roles but that they interact continuously to guide development. (Text, line 37 to 39)This easay will tell you which nature or nurture is more important and analyse why modern scientists say that.
During the history, there are many scientists trying to solve this debate by performing many experiments to support their opinions. Before the seventeenth-century many philosopher believer babies were miniature adults who arrived in the world fully equipped with abilities and knowledge and who simply had to grow in order for these inherited characteristics to appear.(Text 6-10)It means these people agreed with nature is more important. However, British philosopher John Locke rejected the notion. He pointed out that experiences or senses (environment or nurture) is more important. He described infants as a 'blank slate'. Experiences as a pen write on this slate. (Text, part A)
At present scientist has conducted lots of experiments to prove the relationship between nature and nurture. When fetus develops within the mother's body, they behavior such as turning and kicking follows an orderly sequence that depend on the stage of growth (nature). However, if the uterine environment is seriously abnormal, maturational processes can be disrupted(nurture).For instance, if a mother contracts German measles during the first three month of pregnancy when fetus develop its organ, thus the infants may be born deaf ,blind or even brain-damaged because when mother have infection, her uterine become critical stage to fetus' certain organ.(Text. Part E) In other experiment about learning to speak, scientist discovered all human infants learn to speak after they have attained a certain level of neurological development and no infant less than a year old is able to speak in sentences in the past(nature). However, this days scientists who compared children who reared in an environment in which people talk to them and reward them for making speechlike sounds like middle-class American homes with others who do not receive such attention like a remote village in Guatemala have litter verbal interaction with adults concludes that children speak earlier with more speechlike sounds talk(nurture).
In sum, it is obvious modern scientists' conclusion that not only both nature and nurture play important roles but also they interact continuously to guide development is more authority and all-round. After this debate, considering nature and nurture is more important than one of them and it is unscientific to complaint IQ is lower than others because working hard is equal to IQ.
Peter

This is my easay. I want to hear from you.
Youth Faithfully
Peter


“Nurture strongly influences early human development”. Discuss.

The question of whether nurture or nature is more important in determining the course of human development has been debated through the centuries. It is obvious that nurture related to the environment you live in and nature is related to the genes. In fact there is a growing belief that both hereditary and environmental factors are important in human development. This essay is about whether nurture or nature strongly influences early human development.
According to Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution (1859), heredity may play a crucial role in early human development. It stated that some of the inheriting characteristics are from previous generation. Therefore, some people believed that nature has a strong influence on early human development. With the development of biology, scientists found that the personal characteristics are already determined by the genetic structure of the fertilized ovum. It explains that why we can develop into a person rather than other creatures. Through the process of maturation, genetic determinants (such as our sex, skin, eyes, hair and body size) will be expressed and motor behaviors (such as rolling over, sitting without support, and standing while holding and crawling) will be conducted during the same sequence. Besides, the newborn possesses all sensory systems functioning and are ready to learn about their new surroundings.
As I stated early, nurture also has strong influence in early human development. The term “blank slate” was introduced into science in the seventeenth century by British philosopher John Locke. He held that a newborn infant is a tabula rasa and all knowledge come to him is provided by experience. However, John’s theory was not accepted until nineteenth century, behaviorists such as Watson and Skinner announce that human nature is perfectly malleable: early experience may make infants become any types of adult, regardless of his or her heredity (1930). For instance, if the uterine environment is gravely irregular, maturational processes can be interrupted. In addition, if the mother infects a disease (such as German measles) at the beginning of pregnancy, the infants may become disabled. It indicates that other environmental factors can influence the early human development. Further research shows that the process of motor behaviors can also be changed. As Zelazo(1999) points out the newborn babies will learn to walk earlier if they are held on a solid surface.
Although nature have a strongly influence on early human development, most experts today agree the process mainly depend on the environment in which they live. Consequently, nurture strongly influences early human development.
Murray

This is my eassy Rebecca. I will be greatfull if you can give me some suggestion about my eassy.
Sincerely,
Murray


Hi Alex, I have corrected your essay, the link is above, please let me know if you can open the file because I didn't use a Windows version of Microsoft Word, so there might be a problem. I think your English is great and I hope my comments are of help. Please ask me if you have any questions. If you have time, please correct one of my recent homeworks. Its on the 'Jobs, Internships' page, called Jess Yanzio 求职信。 谢谢!

Jess
Hi~Jess, I have seen your comments, thanks a lot.
by the way,my msn is:sorrowstorm1992@hotmail.com, I think we can communicate with each other to improve both of our language.

Alex



Hi Fabonacci,

Is that an Italian name? Quite an unconventional name for English at least, so concerned I may have it wrong. I have looked at your essay and may suitable corrections. Let me know if there are any problems

Cheers

Andrew

Hi Andrew,
You are right, Fabonacci is an Italian mathematicians who has invented fibonacci series. I'm his fan, and show great interest in the series. Thank you for correcting my essay. I am glad you can offer some experience about academic essay. With you help my writting has improved.
Yours
Fabonacci

Hi Rose,this is my essay. Would it be OK for you to make comments on my essay? I believe that my Enghlish writing will slowly improve with your help.

Hi May, your essay is great! The English is easy to understand and I was really impressed by your high level of vocabulary! I have made some corrections which I have highlighted in bold. Some words have an asterisk* next to them where I was unsure of the meaning or it needed further explaining, so I hope my comments are useful - please do not hesitate to ask if you need any more help! Rosie.



Hi Eddie,
Here are your corrections, your English is very impressive.
Best,
Maeve

Nurture strongly influences early human development
Researchers have been arguing for many centuries about whether nature or nurture has the stronger influence on early human development. This essay will mainly examine the degree to which nurture influences early human development.

The importance of nature and nurture, and which has a greater influence on early human development, has confused many biologists for a long time. Up to now, researchers have done many experiments to prove the strong influence of nurture. British philosopher John Locke is one of them. Locke said that all knowledge is attained through our senses. It comes from our experience; . (Text 2.1 14-16) Before 1980, Kagan supplied another case on the progress of speech to explain the importance of nurture: . (Text 2-1 lines 115-119) According to their arguments, early human development mainly depends on early training the subject received.

On the other hand, although nurture is significant, nature has a key role in human development while they are still in their infancy. “Charles Darwin may be the leader who supports nature is important. His theory emphasizes the biological basis of human development (Text 2.1 18-19).” “Another idea that genetics determine people's personal characteristics, which are also determined by nature and play an important role in human development. Our genes program our growing cells so that we develop into a person rather than a fish or chimpanzee. They decide our sex, the color of our skin, eyes, hair and general body size, among other things (Text 2.1 53-57)” Furthermore, there are men born with talent and men born without talent. They receive the same education, but the man born with talent will always perform better than the man born without talent. Although they get the same education, there will always be a gap between them.

In summation, nurture strongly influences early human development. The early training a person has received can strongly influence their early development. However, nature can also leave a gap between different people’s abilities, and that gap will not disappear as time progresses.

Hi, I am Jack, this is my essay. I would appreciate if you could make comments for me.


Hi Jack, my name is Luke and my teacher has asked me to help you correct your assignment.

I was very impressed; your level of English is already very high! The corrections I made are written in red, please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any more questions.

Well done and best wishes,
Luke


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Nurture Strongly Influences Early Human Development. Discuss
Chesterfield.lin
The human’s early development has becoming an important issue that attract scientists’ attentions due to it has discovered that it is the most crux in a man’s life. From experience, however, it seems that early education is no so much valuable since the advent of Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution (1859), especially put forward of Human Genome Project (1985). But there have a group of scientists, including environmentalists and behaviourists, have go back to believe that nurture in childhood is also an indispensability part for personal development. This essay will discuss their opinions from different views.
Hereditarians, as Charles Darwin believes that personal characteristics are determined before the fetus is born. That has witnessed that human’s body, from skeleton to cell of skin, has been determined when egg had been fertilized own to the gene. The genes, which decide our sex, eyes, the colour of our skin and general body size, has organized our fate. Scientists have instanced human physiology defect including deaf, blind or brain-damaged. Actually, no matter how to change the environment and human’s behaviour, the genetic is hard to change. Most of human’s genetic come from parents, that is the reason why model technology can judge the relation of a family.
Different from the determinism school, however, environmentalists and behaviourists are firmly convinced that nurture is stronger than nature for personal development. The extreme representative is John B. Watson, a behaviourist, who stated: ‘Give me a dozen healthy infants, well-formed, and my own specified world to bring them up in, and I’ll guarantee to take any one at random and train him to be any type of specialist I might select – doctor, lawyer, artist, merchant-chief, and…’ (1930, p.104). There has proved that pregnant women’s behaviours will affect the characters of their children when babies born. As wolf child, who has thrown-out into forest or hilly area, is unable to receive the human’s civilization because far from any people. But it could not be explained he or she has fault in physiology. Thus, put all the human’s problem to genetic is not science, it is fatalism.
Actually, scientists, no matter who supported this opinion, have recognized that nature and nurture have countless ties relation. The word” interaction” is suitable to explain their relevance.

yuan

The question of whether nurture strongly influences early human development has been debated through the centuries. Philosophers agree nature strongly influences early human development but the others scientists like John Locke disagree it. The aims of this essay are to discuss which is more important in early human development, nurture or nature.
As John B. Watson and B. F. Skinner (1930) pointed out human nature is completely malleable, nurture strongly influences early human development. (Atkinson, et al, 1999, page 12) Their theory showed training can turn a child to any kind of human. Moreover, John Locke (17th century) also pointed out that an infant is a ’blank slate’. (Atkinson, et al, 1999, page 12) Up to now, there are many humans believe in this theory. They would say the development of speech as an example. In the course of normal development, all infants learn to speak, but infants in different speaking environments may learn the language which people talk to them, not having any relation about the races. A Chinese infant in Britain may learn to speak English not Chinese and a British infant would be the same.
On the other hand, philosophers agree not only does nurture strongly influences early human development but nature also nature also does indeed having more effect than nurture. According to Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution (1859), which returns to the genetic viewpoint, nature has stronger influences than nurture. (Atkinson, et al, 1999, page 12) For example, all children go through the same steps of motor behaviors: rolling over, sitting without support, standing while holding on to furniture, crawling and then walking. (Atkinson, et al, 1999, page 13) Those who support nature would say that genes program growing cells and they decide human shape and action. They may say that infants do not speaking when they born. All infants must come through a process of learning, so it proves the point that nature has more influences to early human development.
In conclusion, up to now, the debate about whether nurture strongly influences early human development has no result. Those who support nurture would say infants are malleable and those who support nature would say infants are need to come through the same steps. The result also need human to discover it.



The question of whether nature or nurture has the stronger influence on early human development has been arguing for many centuries. Different psychologists have different opinions. The aims of this essay are to explore some reason why nurture is important than nature.

Darwin’s theory(1895) of evolution point out that early human development is by nature. These psychologists who believe nature is more important than nurture have several reasons to suppose the ideal, firstly genetic structure determined feature of human. Second the human fetus development is influenced by environmental, if mother have some bad habits, for example smoking, consumption of alcohol and drugs will take bad influence to fetus. Third capacities of the newborn can help them learn the necessary ability, so they do not need nurture.

According to John B. Watson and B.F. Skinner(1930,p.104), a child is completely malleable and what kind of adult they are is completely determine by the environment. Kagan(1979) has expressed a similar view, as he said nurture is more important than nature. For example, if a group of infants give a practice about speech before they began speech, they will talk earlier than infants not receive the practice. The development of walk provides another evidence to support the nurture is important than nature. For example, in the first two months, given infants steeping practice could make they began walking early than normal.(Zelazo, Zalazo&Kolb1972)

However, the majority of modern psychologists believe that nature and nurture
interact continuously to guide the development of children, and that they are working together all the time. The development of speech and movement is a good example to show nature and nurture is connective. All infants can learn speaking, this ability is given by nature. If infants practice waking and speaking, they may begun walking and speaking earlier than others who had not had this practice. Nature determined human’s talents tendencies and race of his ancestors’, and what kind of person they become was decided by nurture.

In conclusion, nature and nurture influence human development in different ways. Nature decides human character and nurture can change the character. Nature gives human ability and nurture help develop the abilities. Nature give all of person same things and nurture makes these. It means that nurture makes people is different, so nurture strongly influences early human development.
cary
Hi Cary Im very impressed with your English, just a few small mistakes. Remember when you are writing a scientific paper to keep the tone objective and scientific. On the whole though I think you have made a strong and convincing argument,

Any more questions just let me know!

All the Best

Nik


The question of whether nature or nurture has the stronger influence on early human development has been argued for many centuries. Different psychologists have different opinions. The aims of this essay are to explore some reasons why nurture is more important than nature.

Darwin’s theory(1895) of evolution points out that early human development is effected by nature. (Delete these) Psychologists who believe nature is more influential than nurture have much evidence to support this conjecture. Firstly genetic structure determines the features of humans. Second human fetus development is influenced by its environment, if the mother is prone to bad habits such as smoking, consumption of alcohol and drugs there will be detrimental effects upon the fetus. Thirdly the capacities of a newborn child can enable them to learn necessary abilities, so they do not need nurture.

According to John B. Watson and B.F. Skinner(1930,p.104), a child is completely malleable and what kind of adult they are is completely determine by their environment. Kagan(1979) has expressed a similar view, as he said nurture is more important than nature. For example, if a group of infants are given speech practice before they began speech, they will talk earlier than infants who do not receive this practice. The development of walking provides more evidence to support the hypothesis that nurture is more important than nature. For example, in the first two months, giving infants stepping practice could make they began walking early than normal.(Zelazo, Zalazo&Kolb1972)

However, the majority of modern psychologists believe that nature and nurture
interact continuously to guide the development of children, and that they continuously work together. The development of speech and movement is a good example to show that nature and nurture are connected. All infants can learn to speak, this ability is given by nature. If infants practice waking and speaking, they may begin walking and speaking earlier than others who had not had this practice. Nature determined human’s talents tendencies and race of his ancestors’, and what kind of person they become is decided by nurture.

In conclusion, nature and nurture influence human development in different ways. Nature decides human character and nurture can change the character. Nature gives humans an ability and nurture help s to develop it. (Nature give all of person same things and nurture makes these repetition and slightly confusing consider del). Meaning that nurture makes people unique, therefore nurture is a key factor in strongly influencing early human development.





Hi Vettel (Is Vettel your name?)
I have marked your essay and posted it above. The green writing is your original, the red is where I have changed things and the blue is explanations for why. I think overall it was a very good essay and I hope you do really well, I especially liked that you took a side and decided you thought nature was more important.
Also if you have time I have a letter under 'Jobs and internships' which I would like someone to look at, it is called 'Frances - Covering Letter'

Cheers

Frances